How To Develop Effective Communication Skills For Couples

By Kelly Wood


The initial rush of romance can be wonderful. Couples find themselves falling in love and wanting to be together. However even the most committed pairing can become frustrated with each other over a long term period. At this point this is when it helps to learn effective communication skills for couples.

The first thing is how people communicate. A lot of the time this develops from the family. Some families are very lively and discussion is actively encouraged. Other families are a bit more introspective and discussion is either considered not necessary or rude. Neither of these approaches are necessarily right or wrong and most people are usually somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.

A lot of the time this can be traced back to family interaction. Some families are very lively and debate is encouraged. Other families may be a bit quieter and may not be as verbal when it comes to communicating with each other. Neither of these approaches is necessarily right or wrong.

It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.

This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.

However this is an extreme circumstance. A lot of the time it is more about finding a common solution. This should not be confused with compromise which often results in neither half of a couple getting what they want. Finding common goals and solutions is better in the long term and this is something you should always strive for.

Be aware that if you are in a heightened emotional state you are unlikely to attempt to converse in a rational fashion and this is where you may say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. In this instance it is better to walk away and return after you have had a chance to think about the situation and discuss it in a more rational way. If you find you are still on edge then it may be better to wait until the day after to continue the conversation.

As with any skill learning effective communication skills for couples is something that can be done with professional help. There are numerous courses and teachers available to guide you through this process with sensitive and practical advice. Use your regular search engine to find out what is available in your local area.




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