Marriages that succeed are due to a blend of a number of factors. Two of the most important ones are happiness and fulfillment. Absence of these two crucial factors besides others could lead to matrimony disaster and subsequent marriage counseling VA.
One of those things is whether or not both spouses are willing to go through matrimony counseling. There may be one spouse willing to take it serious and the other spouse not wanting to go through with it. If a married couple in this situation where to try matrimony counseling, it may not work for them. As the popular saying goes, it takes two to make a matrimony work. This is also true for matrimony counseling.
Pastor and international matrimony expert, Mark Gungor has one of the best answers I've seen. He makes a wonderful point that we just don't hear enough. Here's what he said: "If your view of matrimony is flawed, all the energy and strategy you are using (such as our matrimony will be better if we just do this or change that) will end in failure... You must work on your matrimony because you believe it is valuable, not because you are trying to make it valuable."
Sometimes married couples present a lot of signs that would point to therapy not being successful such as not being in love, having severe problems, and not wanting to find a solution to fix the problems they have.
Everyone wants to strive for happiness, but our often fantasized ideal of happiness is seldom experienced in the real world. A matrimony relationship is hard work. It asks that either parties eat a humble pie and suppress their selfish priorities, not concentrate on who is right and who is wrong, but to try to find compromise, to get around the issues that divide them. Accepting the reality of a more achievable happiness requires a sensible and realistic approach, and learning to drop that insistence on being "right" is a good first step, both in matrimony and in entering matrimony therapy. Without this, all may be in vain.
What kind of "horror stories" you ask? Good question. I know this may be difficult to believe, but many of the couples I have worked with over the years who have attended matrimony counseling told me that their matrimony counselor actually advised them to DIVORCE! These couples attended matrimony counseling because they wanted to save their matrimony, not hear from an "expert" that their matrimony is hopeless!
According to some studies, it seems that matrimony therapy works better for couples that are young and where neither party is sexist. It is believed that younger couples have a better chance of changing as opposed to older couples that might not be able to change as easily as older couples are more fixed on their ways matrimony therapy. There is a perception that sexists remain skeptical to therapy since they rely on duties that are sex specific which does not help the matrimony.
The reason couples end up in the offices of matrimony counselors is because they want somebody to help them do what they're not able to do... Believe their matrimony IS valuable. Talk to virtually any couple who has been to a matrimony counselor and you'll find them in agreement. But the sad truth is that most marriage counselors just don't believe matrimony itself IS valuable.
One of those things is whether or not both spouses are willing to go through matrimony counseling. There may be one spouse willing to take it serious and the other spouse not wanting to go through with it. If a married couple in this situation where to try matrimony counseling, it may not work for them. As the popular saying goes, it takes two to make a matrimony work. This is also true for matrimony counseling.
Pastor and international matrimony expert, Mark Gungor has one of the best answers I've seen. He makes a wonderful point that we just don't hear enough. Here's what he said: "If your view of matrimony is flawed, all the energy and strategy you are using (such as our matrimony will be better if we just do this or change that) will end in failure... You must work on your matrimony because you believe it is valuable, not because you are trying to make it valuable."
Sometimes married couples present a lot of signs that would point to therapy not being successful such as not being in love, having severe problems, and not wanting to find a solution to fix the problems they have.
Everyone wants to strive for happiness, but our often fantasized ideal of happiness is seldom experienced in the real world. A matrimony relationship is hard work. It asks that either parties eat a humble pie and suppress their selfish priorities, not concentrate on who is right and who is wrong, but to try to find compromise, to get around the issues that divide them. Accepting the reality of a more achievable happiness requires a sensible and realistic approach, and learning to drop that insistence on being "right" is a good first step, both in matrimony and in entering matrimony therapy. Without this, all may be in vain.
What kind of "horror stories" you ask? Good question. I know this may be difficult to believe, but many of the couples I have worked with over the years who have attended matrimony counseling told me that their matrimony counselor actually advised them to DIVORCE! These couples attended matrimony counseling because they wanted to save their matrimony, not hear from an "expert" that their matrimony is hopeless!
According to some studies, it seems that matrimony therapy works better for couples that are young and where neither party is sexist. It is believed that younger couples have a better chance of changing as opposed to older couples that might not be able to change as easily as older couples are more fixed on their ways matrimony therapy. There is a perception that sexists remain skeptical to therapy since they rely on duties that are sex specific which does not help the matrimony.
The reason couples end up in the offices of matrimony counselors is because they want somebody to help them do what they're not able to do... Believe their matrimony IS valuable. Talk to virtually any couple who has been to a matrimony counselor and you'll find them in agreement. But the sad truth is that most marriage counselors just don't believe matrimony itself IS valuable.
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