There is no doubt that if you are married for any length of time at all you are going to experience some degree of marriage problems. Some of them are very small, and others can literally end the marriage. All couples share some degree of disagreements and arguments. Many of our friends don't have perfect marriage like we think they sometimes do. However, what if you are in a situation where you may have gone past the point of simple arguments and disagreements and you're beginning to worry about the state of your marriage? You may have come to the point where you are asking yourself if you need couples therapy or marriage counseling.
Let me quickly offer some questions that you might want to ask of yourself. Do you find that the level of the disagreements with your spouse are more intense and occur more frequently? Have you begun to drift apart as if your were living separate lives much of the time? Are you experiencing any kind of sexual problems that you haven't had before in your marriage? Are either of you thinking about a divorce? Or, perhaps maybe you have already started working toward getting a divorce?
If these are some characteristics of your relationship you probably are in the place to seek couples therapy or marriage counseling, whatever you want to call it. I want to offer 4 things for you to think about.
1. Right now begin to admit that your marriage needs help. Couples tend to think that some of these things are just normal marital problems and they kind of shrug them off. They think that most couples are experiencing these types of problems and the rationalize it too long. Before long the situation gets worse and worse until the marriage becomes very hard to repair.
2. Go ahead and agree with your spouse that the fear of embarrassment will not stop you from taking steps to get help. It's okay. Many people seek counseling every day. You shouldn't be embarrassed by such a wise decision as getting marriage counseling. It's the smart thing. Plus, the people you might worry about finding out are usually having problems of their own that you don't know about! Don't let the fear of shame or being embarrassed you from a happy marriage.
3. Start looking around and doing some research to find the best possible help. There are many really good one on one counselors who are not very successful and are not as well trained in marriage counseling. So, do your due diligence and find that person who specializes in couples therapy and excels in that field. Many people will want to use a member of the clergy, and that is totally fine. Just make sure that the minister has a proper amount of experience and is qualified in marriage counseling. This step is important. Make sure that you select a good counselor or get access to some excellent resources to get the help you need. Also, there are some very good online resources that you might want to consider also.
4. Start now. Don't put it off. Here are some ideas: a) get set up with a trained counselor or minister, b) try your best not to make long term decisions about your marriage while the emotions are running high, c) remember that there are now some very good online sources that may help you, especially as you are waiting to get in to see a counselor, if that is what your have decided to do, d) always keep in mind that there is a lot of hope! We realize that there are more difficult issues such as abuse or mental conditions that are sometimes not resolved. However, a huge number of marriages could be saved if couples would just take the proper steps to get help. And please don't give up on your marriage if at all possible. You can make it! You and your spouse can have a happy life together!
Let me quickly offer some questions that you might want to ask of yourself. Do you find that the level of the disagreements with your spouse are more intense and occur more frequently? Have you begun to drift apart as if your were living separate lives much of the time? Are you experiencing any kind of sexual problems that you haven't had before in your marriage? Are either of you thinking about a divorce? Or, perhaps maybe you have already started working toward getting a divorce?
If these are some characteristics of your relationship you probably are in the place to seek couples therapy or marriage counseling, whatever you want to call it. I want to offer 4 things for you to think about.
1. Right now begin to admit that your marriage needs help. Couples tend to think that some of these things are just normal marital problems and they kind of shrug them off. They think that most couples are experiencing these types of problems and the rationalize it too long. Before long the situation gets worse and worse until the marriage becomes very hard to repair.
2. Go ahead and agree with your spouse that the fear of embarrassment will not stop you from taking steps to get help. It's okay. Many people seek counseling every day. You shouldn't be embarrassed by such a wise decision as getting marriage counseling. It's the smart thing. Plus, the people you might worry about finding out are usually having problems of their own that you don't know about! Don't let the fear of shame or being embarrassed you from a happy marriage.
3. Start looking around and doing some research to find the best possible help. There are many really good one on one counselors who are not very successful and are not as well trained in marriage counseling. So, do your due diligence and find that person who specializes in couples therapy and excels in that field. Many people will want to use a member of the clergy, and that is totally fine. Just make sure that the minister has a proper amount of experience and is qualified in marriage counseling. This step is important. Make sure that you select a good counselor or get access to some excellent resources to get the help you need. Also, there are some very good online resources that you might want to consider also.
4. Start now. Don't put it off. Here are some ideas: a) get set up with a trained counselor or minister, b) try your best not to make long term decisions about your marriage while the emotions are running high, c) remember that there are now some very good online sources that may help you, especially as you are waiting to get in to see a counselor, if that is what your have decided to do, d) always keep in mind that there is a lot of hope! We realize that there are more difficult issues such as abuse or mental conditions that are sometimes not resolved. However, a huge number of marriages could be saved if couples would just take the proper steps to get help. And please don't give up on your marriage if at all possible. You can make it! You and your spouse can have a happy life together!
About the Author:
Don't settle for a broken marriage! Get more information from B. Gregory about Couples Therapy. Or, for more on Marriage Counseling, read some of the Dema McCrae articles. You can keep your marriage and keep it healthy and stable!
