A premature ending to lovemaking because of the man's inability to control his arousal is very annoying to a woman. No surprise that one of the most frequent searches on the web is for techniques to control male arousal! A quick ending to physical intimacy can deny the woman the pleasure which she feels from lovemaking. She will perhaps think that her lover either does not respect her or that he is insensitive. And a man who reaches climax too soon may feel like he is a weak, inadequate man.
None of this is helpful for the relationship, particularly if the problem is not honestly discussed. In most cases, however, the fear associated with sexual issues like this is massively stressful, and the couple frequently carry on with this massive topic unresolved. So the question is, can you change anything? The great news is - you can indeed change things!
Firstly, you should discuss it openly: in other words, you talk about how you feel. Unfortunately, the fact is our work shows as few as one couple in ten talk to each other about difficulties with sex. So, to help you drop your defenses about sex, try these tricks to guide you:
1) Speak about yourself - do not try the tactic of blaming your lover. Having the ability to listen without judging means you probably will meet much less resistance - and your partner is probably going to be very much more willing to listen to what you want to say without putting you down.
2) Don't project your feelings - being able to accept that you are both responsible is necessary to eliminating mutual distrust. Only when you are able to understand that your partner's actions and feelings are a real response to the issues you face, and that they are entitled to think, feel and act as they do, can you begin to respect each other as you truly are.
3) Don't engage in self-criticism. Making changes is more useful. This may require getting the help of a therapist. Or it may mean actions as basic as booking space every day to speak to your wife or husband about what is bothering you.
4) If you have trouble discussing sexual problems rehearse the things you want to discuss in advance. Preparing like this is crucial in achieving the respect of your partner. It's also helpful to know what is unacceptable to you in any conversation about sex. That way you will be more likely to keep your self-respect.
5) Be clear about how you feel. It's often difficult to have full awareness of what's causing the things we feel, and it's likely you may only fully know the real issue as you discuss the problem. And, if you are clear what you want to change, you are more likely to get it. The more genuinely you show yourself, the more honestly you speak about what's going on for you, the more intimate you will feel as a couple.
Secondly, work as a couple on a practical self-help treatment program for curing male sexual dysfunction. There are many to choose from on the internet and a brief search will be enough to find something that is right for you. The important characteristics you should to seek out are: checkable testimonials, a full money-back guarantee, and a qualified author. I have proven in more than 10 years' helping men with sexual problems that self-help programs are just as effective as office-based counseling for the majority of men, if they are highly eager to improve their sexual game.
None of this is helpful for the relationship, particularly if the problem is not honestly discussed. In most cases, however, the fear associated with sexual issues like this is massively stressful, and the couple frequently carry on with this massive topic unresolved. So the question is, can you change anything? The great news is - you can indeed change things!
Firstly, you should discuss it openly: in other words, you talk about how you feel. Unfortunately, the fact is our work shows as few as one couple in ten talk to each other about difficulties with sex. So, to help you drop your defenses about sex, try these tricks to guide you:
1) Speak about yourself - do not try the tactic of blaming your lover. Having the ability to listen without judging means you probably will meet much less resistance - and your partner is probably going to be very much more willing to listen to what you want to say without putting you down.
2) Don't project your feelings - being able to accept that you are both responsible is necessary to eliminating mutual distrust. Only when you are able to understand that your partner's actions and feelings are a real response to the issues you face, and that they are entitled to think, feel and act as they do, can you begin to respect each other as you truly are.
3) Don't engage in self-criticism. Making changes is more useful. This may require getting the help of a therapist. Or it may mean actions as basic as booking space every day to speak to your wife or husband about what is bothering you.
4) If you have trouble discussing sexual problems rehearse the things you want to discuss in advance. Preparing like this is crucial in achieving the respect of your partner. It's also helpful to know what is unacceptable to you in any conversation about sex. That way you will be more likely to keep your self-respect.
5) Be clear about how you feel. It's often difficult to have full awareness of what's causing the things we feel, and it's likely you may only fully know the real issue as you discuss the problem. And, if you are clear what you want to change, you are more likely to get it. The more genuinely you show yourself, the more honestly you speak about what's going on for you, the more intimate you will feel as a couple.
Secondly, work as a couple on a practical self-help treatment program for curing male sexual dysfunction. There are many to choose from on the internet and a brief search will be enough to find something that is right for you. The important characteristics you should to seek out are: checkable testimonials, a full money-back guarantee, and a qualified author. I have proven in more than 10 years' helping men with sexual problems that self-help programs are just as effective as office-based counseling for the majority of men, if they are highly eager to improve their sexual game.
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