Are you frustrated with your attempts to try to get back together with your ex? Do well meaning conversations turn into battles where you are constantly trying to defend yourself? Are your words and actions taken out of context by your ex and used against you? Do you feel like your ex is living in a totally different reality and you feel like you simply can't win? How can you straighten things out and get back to that loving relationship that you both once shared? How can you turn things around and make your ex see that you truly love them with all your heart?
Sometimes, trying to get back together with your ex is like trying to herd cats. No matter how hard you try and how well meaning your intentions might be, your ex goes in a different direction and they simply don't see the big picture. No matter what tactic you try, conversations and meanings become weapons used against you. There is a reason behind this and there is something that you can do to turn things around.
Now, what would you do if you saw a little boy that was throwing a fit? What would be most effective in circumventing that behavior? Punishing him or giving him a stern talking to rarely works. This will only make him more angry and beligerent. Rewarding bad behavior or giving him some sort of a treat won't be apprecaited so being nice to him isn't going to work. Even acknowledging his poor behavior only reinforces that behavior.
On the other hand, if you want a cat to come to you, your best bet is to sit very still. Especially if you have been chasing after a cat, the best thing that you can do is to sit on the floor, not make any movements and get the cat interested in you. Maybe you have a toy or some food or you make some very quiet pleasant sounds that the cat likes.
It is only once your ex has a desire or even an inkling of a desire to spend time with you and talk with you that things will begin to change. Creating that desire is rather simple
There is nothing that you can say to him right now that's going to make a bit of difference. No amount of logic is going to make him want to be a part of your life. He is throwing a tantrum and he's not thinking logically. He will calm down all on his own and if your life and what you are doing is interesting he will want to be a part of it.
Take advantage of this time apart and while you're waiting for time to do its healing thing, begin to create a life that will be attractive to your ex. Start doing things that you think that your ex might want to do. Even little things like going somewhere during the weekend or making some changes to your house are enough to get their interest. Start working out or studying something new.
These two steps are a good basic way to get your ex back. Allow some time to pass and create a life that your ex would be interested in being a part of. Once there is interest and the smoke has cleared from the breakup, you can gently remind your ex of all the pleasant and fun memories that you had together. There's no pushing or convincing or trickery here. This is just good, basic relationship advice that can help you to get your ex back.
Sometimes, trying to get back together with your ex is like trying to herd cats. No matter how hard you try and how well meaning your intentions might be, your ex goes in a different direction and they simply don't see the big picture. No matter what tactic you try, conversations and meanings become weapons used against you. There is a reason behind this and there is something that you can do to turn things around.
Now, what would you do if you saw a little boy that was throwing a fit? What would be most effective in circumventing that behavior? Punishing him or giving him a stern talking to rarely works. This will only make him more angry and beligerent. Rewarding bad behavior or giving him some sort of a treat won't be apprecaited so being nice to him isn't going to work. Even acknowledging his poor behavior only reinforces that behavior.
On the other hand, if you want a cat to come to you, your best bet is to sit very still. Especially if you have been chasing after a cat, the best thing that you can do is to sit on the floor, not make any movements and get the cat interested in you. Maybe you have a toy or some food or you make some very quiet pleasant sounds that the cat likes.
It is only once your ex has a desire or even an inkling of a desire to spend time with you and talk with you that things will begin to change. Creating that desire is rather simple
There is nothing that you can say to him right now that's going to make a bit of difference. No amount of logic is going to make him want to be a part of your life. He is throwing a tantrum and he's not thinking logically. He will calm down all on his own and if your life and what you are doing is interesting he will want to be a part of it.
Take advantage of this time apart and while you're waiting for time to do its healing thing, begin to create a life that will be attractive to your ex. Start doing things that you think that your ex might want to do. Even little things like going somewhere during the weekend or making some changes to your house are enough to get their interest. Start working out or studying something new.
These two steps are a good basic way to get your ex back. Allow some time to pass and create a life that your ex would be interested in being a part of. Once there is interest and the smoke has cleared from the breakup, you can gently remind your ex of all the pleasant and fun memories that you had together. There's no pushing or convincing or trickery here. This is just good, basic relationship advice that can help you to get your ex back.
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