Amongst the reasons approaching a gorgeous girl is so difficult is the congruence test. A gorgeous woman gets hit on as much as 15 times a day! Because of this, she needs a super efficient system to quickly filter out the monkeys from the possibilities.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are actually as confident as you seem to be, usually by throwing a fussy comment or insulting you in some way. It is to see how you, their prospective date, reacts to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you may be able to handle her in real life.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your confidence so that a poser will run away. These are some of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"How much money do you make?"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
"Run along, shorty."
"Run along, shorty."
"Sorry, I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my personal favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
Pretty ruthless! If you experienced a congruence test, it feels like you've been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut ... Meanwhile, your ego plummets faster than you can run away from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and does not necessarily suggest the woman is not interested. There are 4 techniques you can employ to turn her rudeness into a flirt and prove to her that you can deal with a woman who is a little bitchy at times.
1) Flipping the script
Flipping the script means that you're using what she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only talk to good looking guys." You can simply reply, "Is that why you're so attracted to me?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can reply, "Yeah! We should lose a couple pounds together." This will surprise and probably amuse her. If nothing else, it'll soften her up.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "accidentally" misinterpret it as a sexual come on. If she says "Where'd you get those ugly shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wants to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I've just met you, don't come on to me too fast." She'll end up being the surprised one, and you will successfully pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't want to dance right now. Maybe a little later though." Do not get caught up in her game; she actually just wants to know that you won't be scared away by it, she doesn't need a fighting partner.
4) Play along
Another way to surprise her and turn the conversation onto a more positive road is to simply make the comment playful by playing along. "I could ask you the same!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her reluctance to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.
That's it!
When you get over your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to conjure up and she responds with a mean comment, it is easy to get dejected. Just remember that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came before you. But you are not an average chump, so don't hesitate - even for a second - or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she throws a congruence test at you, don't waver in your confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, stay confident, and don't let her shake that confidence.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are actually as confident as you seem to be, usually by throwing a fussy comment or insulting you in some way. It is to see how you, their prospective date, reacts to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you may be able to handle her in real life.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your confidence so that a poser will run away. These are some of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"How much money do you make?"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
"Run along, shorty."
"Run along, shorty."
"Sorry, I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my personal favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
Pretty ruthless! If you experienced a congruence test, it feels like you've been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut ... Meanwhile, your ego plummets faster than you can run away from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and does not necessarily suggest the woman is not interested. There are 4 techniques you can employ to turn her rudeness into a flirt and prove to her that you can deal with a woman who is a little bitchy at times.
1) Flipping the script
Flipping the script means that you're using what she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only talk to good looking guys." You can simply reply, "Is that why you're so attracted to me?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can reply, "Yeah! We should lose a couple pounds together." This will surprise and probably amuse her. If nothing else, it'll soften her up.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "accidentally" misinterpret it as a sexual come on. If she says "Where'd you get those ugly shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wants to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I've just met you, don't come on to me too fast." She'll end up being the surprised one, and you will successfully pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't want to dance right now. Maybe a little later though." Do not get caught up in her game; she actually just wants to know that you won't be scared away by it, she doesn't need a fighting partner.
4) Play along
Another way to surprise her and turn the conversation onto a more positive road is to simply make the comment playful by playing along. "I could ask you the same!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her reluctance to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.
That's it!
When you get over your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to conjure up and she responds with a mean comment, it is easy to get dejected. Just remember that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came before you. But you are not an average chump, so don't hesitate - even for a second - or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she throws a congruence test at you, don't waver in your confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, stay confident, and don't let her shake that confidence.
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