The Opening and what to say is probably the most challenging and arguably the most important part of interacting with a new woman. Assuming you handled your approach anxiety, brushed up on your confidence and grooming, the next part is, what do you say?
Before The Game and the proliferation of pickup artists, you can probably say anything amusing and get away with it, but now women are wise to the ways of the pickup artists and distrust anything that smells like a pickup. As a result, you want to keep away from the canned pickup lines. Most Relationship gurus and pickup coaches now teach newbies to stay away from the canned approaches and encourage them to develop a more natural opener.
However, for the absolute newbie with no idea what to say, my advise is to pick one of the canned approaches and spin a variation on it. Keep the theme but don't go verbatim, change the content. The book "Mating Intelligence Unleashed" says that most women prefer an indirect approach over a direct approach. However, a direct approach has the advantage in that it lets the girl know your exact intentions from the beginning so no PUA games or misunderstanding. It's all personal preference so pick a couple of openers, spin it to make it sound natural, and practice, practice, practice.
Direct Openers:
Compliment her on something she's wearing or her hair or just style in general. The trick is compliment openers are to never ever compliment her on her physical beauty. "You have an awesome energy about you." "You have a funky style." "That's an awesome purse, watch, and so on"
Excuse me, I need to tell you something ... I just saw you from over there, thought you looked really nice and had to come by and say something.
Hello there, I like you. I 'd like to get to know you. Hey, What's up? Where are you going? You're cute, are you friendly?
You guys are so cute. You have such an adorable group thing going on. I want to meet you guys.
My name is Joe, how are you? You look like someone I'd like to meet.
I just had the most AWESOME day." Then tell her what happened, something cool - AND detailed. After a ten minute chat of how great your life is lately, you then cap it with, "And now I met you.
Hey, I like the way you carry yourself, and you seem like you might be interesting. I need to get going, so let's exchange information and continue this later on.
Hi there. You look like somebody I ought to get to know, but I'm in a hurry right now. Still, I don't want to pass up such a wonderful opportunity to meet someone like you. I 'd like to see you again at a place where we could chat and get to know each other.
Indirect Openers
Are you shy? I've been standing here talking to my friend for like 10 minutes and you still haven't said hello.
C'mon it's not that bad, it's Sat night, the music's good, the dance floor's pumping, why aren't you up there having a good time? Don't you hate it when people do that, you're sitting here minding your own business and someone comes up forcing you to have a good time. Like, I was at work the other day standing by the coffee machine and this girl came up to me and said, "Smile, it might not happen." I was just thinking, why doesn't she mind her own business, I was minding my own. Well... I've pretty much just killed my own conversation, so unless you have any questions for me I'll be getting back to my friends."
Hey guys, help me out, I have this song stuck in my head ALL day and I can't remember who sings it. It goes, "you spin me right round baby right round like a record player right round, round round.... who sings that???... I was talking to my mom earlier today and she said its Lionel Richie... but I KNOW that isn't right!
You know that Frowning burns more calories than smiling? But it's ok... I understand why you have to keep it on. I can see you are mid-way in your gym schedule... You clearly wanna beat the other girls in your group... I will not let you beat them coz using frowning to lose weight is unfair... I will make it my task in these few minutes to make you smile...
Oh my god! ... did you see those two girls fighting outside? Like right outside the club... they were totally going at it; one was pulling the other's hair, and the other one drew blood with her nails. And they seemed to be fighting over this short guy; he was standing near them just totally giggling!
I'm lost... I can't find my buddies and I'm scared... Remember when we were small and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted... "Want to be my friend?"
Grab a magazine, newspaper, book, item, anything, then just examine it, and turn to her and ask, "What do you think of (...)?" or "Can you believe (...)!?" or "What is your opinion about (...)?"
So do you like Justin Timberlake? Yeah he's sexy ah? You know many girls have told me that I look like Justin Timberlake?
What are you looking for? Everybody is looking for something, unless... you've found it. My name's, what's yours?
You look like you're thinking about something funny. What is it?
Opinion Openers:
I need your opinion on something. I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde. What do you think?
Hey can I ask your opinion. I've been considering seeing (the latest chick flick) but my buddies said I would be gay if I went to see the movie. What do you think... is it ok for a guy to watch romantic movies?
I need your honest opinion on something...do I look gay? Because something really funny just happened, this dude was hitting on me in another bar!?
Hey guys, I need a female opinion... we were just at Saks today, and there were all these $600 collared tee-shirts. When chicks see guys wearing 6-bill shirts like that, do they think its classy or trying too hard?
Can I get your viewpoint on something. Do I look better with my glasses on or off?
Hey, Can I get some advice: What should I get my mother tomorrow for mother's day?
What's your take on this situation? What's your opinion on that situation? Can I get a female's perspective?
Hey, I need your opinion on something. I am going on a blind date with some girl and I'm very worried about it. Is there any pointers you can give me so I don't appear like an idiot. I don't really know how to dress to impress or act properly.
Before The Game and the proliferation of pickup artists, you can probably say anything amusing and get away with it, but now women are wise to the ways of the pickup artists and distrust anything that smells like a pickup. As a result, you want to keep away from the canned pickup lines. Most Relationship gurus and pickup coaches now teach newbies to stay away from the canned approaches and encourage them to develop a more natural opener.
However, for the absolute newbie with no idea what to say, my advise is to pick one of the canned approaches and spin a variation on it. Keep the theme but don't go verbatim, change the content. The book "Mating Intelligence Unleashed" says that most women prefer an indirect approach over a direct approach. However, a direct approach has the advantage in that it lets the girl know your exact intentions from the beginning so no PUA games or misunderstanding. It's all personal preference so pick a couple of openers, spin it to make it sound natural, and practice, practice, practice.
Direct Openers:
Compliment her on something she's wearing or her hair or just style in general. The trick is compliment openers are to never ever compliment her on her physical beauty. "You have an awesome energy about you." "You have a funky style." "That's an awesome purse, watch, and so on"
Excuse me, I need to tell you something ... I just saw you from over there, thought you looked really nice and had to come by and say something.
Hello there, I like you. I 'd like to get to know you. Hey, What's up? Where are you going? You're cute, are you friendly?
You guys are so cute. You have such an adorable group thing going on. I want to meet you guys.
My name is Joe, how are you? You look like someone I'd like to meet.
I just had the most AWESOME day." Then tell her what happened, something cool - AND detailed. After a ten minute chat of how great your life is lately, you then cap it with, "And now I met you.
Hey, I like the way you carry yourself, and you seem like you might be interesting. I need to get going, so let's exchange information and continue this later on.
Hi there. You look like somebody I ought to get to know, but I'm in a hurry right now. Still, I don't want to pass up such a wonderful opportunity to meet someone like you. I 'd like to see you again at a place where we could chat and get to know each other.
Indirect Openers
Are you shy? I've been standing here talking to my friend for like 10 minutes and you still haven't said hello.
C'mon it's not that bad, it's Sat night, the music's good, the dance floor's pumping, why aren't you up there having a good time? Don't you hate it when people do that, you're sitting here minding your own business and someone comes up forcing you to have a good time. Like, I was at work the other day standing by the coffee machine and this girl came up to me and said, "Smile, it might not happen." I was just thinking, why doesn't she mind her own business, I was minding my own. Well... I've pretty much just killed my own conversation, so unless you have any questions for me I'll be getting back to my friends."
Hey guys, help me out, I have this song stuck in my head ALL day and I can't remember who sings it. It goes, "you spin me right round baby right round like a record player right round, round round.... who sings that???... I was talking to my mom earlier today and she said its Lionel Richie... but I KNOW that isn't right!
You know that Frowning burns more calories than smiling? But it's ok... I understand why you have to keep it on. I can see you are mid-way in your gym schedule... You clearly wanna beat the other girls in your group... I will not let you beat them coz using frowning to lose weight is unfair... I will make it my task in these few minutes to make you smile...
Oh my god! ... did you see those two girls fighting outside? Like right outside the club... they were totally going at it; one was pulling the other's hair, and the other one drew blood with her nails. And they seemed to be fighting over this short guy; he was standing near them just totally giggling!
I'm lost... I can't find my buddies and I'm scared... Remember when we were small and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted... "Want to be my friend?"
Grab a magazine, newspaper, book, item, anything, then just examine it, and turn to her and ask, "What do you think of (...)?" or "Can you believe (...)!?" or "What is your opinion about (...)?"
So do you like Justin Timberlake? Yeah he's sexy ah? You know many girls have told me that I look like Justin Timberlake?
What are you looking for? Everybody is looking for something, unless... you've found it. My name's, what's yours?
You look like you're thinking about something funny. What is it?
Opinion Openers:
I need your opinion on something. I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde. What do you think?
Hey can I ask your opinion. I've been considering seeing (the latest chick flick) but my buddies said I would be gay if I went to see the movie. What do you think... is it ok for a guy to watch romantic movies?
I need your honest opinion on something...do I look gay? Because something really funny just happened, this dude was hitting on me in another bar!?
Hey guys, I need a female opinion... we were just at Saks today, and there were all these $600 collared tee-shirts. When chicks see guys wearing 6-bill shirts like that, do they think its classy or trying too hard?
Can I get your viewpoint on something. Do I look better with my glasses on or off?
Hey, Can I get some advice: What should I get my mother tomorrow for mother's day?
What's your take on this situation? What's your opinion on that situation? Can I get a female's perspective?
Hey, I need your opinion on something. I am going on a blind date with some girl and I'm very worried about it. Is there any pointers you can give me so I don't appear like an idiot. I don't really know how to dress to impress or act properly.
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