It's quite normal for you to have an intense desire to get back together with your wife or ex-girlfriend after she broke up with you. She was your best friend and the person that you cared about the most in this world. The rejection from having someone that close to you can be overwhelming and difficult to deal with emotionally. It has taken a toll on your male ego, your self-confidence and you are left with a giant hole in your life. Wanting to get her back in your life again as soon as possible is probably on your mind throughout most of your day. You should realize though that your attitude and how you deal with your ex is more important than any plan that you might hatch to get her back.
Trying everything under the sun to make your ex change her mind and come back to you is typical. You try talking, being nice, being mean, buying gifts, writing poetry, sending cards and anything else that you can think of after a breakup to get the woman you love to come back to you. What you probably didn't realize is that none of this stuff works unless she has a desire to be with you. Begging, pleading and talking only make you look weak and needy. If you are kicking yourself now, don't worry. Give her some time and change your attitude and you can still get her back. Of course, it's going to require that you refrain from continuing with this behavior. This means no more calling her, apologizing to her or going out of your way to talk to her until the time is right. You will know that the time is right to call her and try to open the lines of communication when you don't think about her or feel that overwhelming desire to hear her voice. Of course, it's always better if she contacts you first.
Your primary focus now is to change how your ex-girlfriend or potential future ex-wife thinks about you. This is going to require you to change your general attitude towards her and women overall. What will this attitude be like? Your attitude should be one where you are unwilling to tolerate being talked down to or treated in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your ex does make you feel uncomfortable or upset, you need to be willing ahead of time to walk away both from the relationship as well as the conversation. Always keep this in mind and remind yourself of this new attitude and it will be felt by your ex-girlfriend if not seen by her the next time she starts treating you poorly.
Along with this new attitude you need to put any thought out of your mind that concerns how she will react to your new attitude. It's going to be a little shocking for her, that's for sure. If she is accustomed to yelling at you or calling you names, she is accustomed to holding all the power in the relationship. If, in the past, you stood there and took this abuse or if you tried to argue with her or explain yourself, those days are through. From now on, you will remind her that she is not your partner, girlfriend or wife. She relinquished that title and the right to state her opinion about anything when she left you. You will turn and literally walk away from the conversation and take that power with you. She will do one of two things. She will either come after you immediately and apologize or she will think about what just happened for a while. She will then have gained some respect for you as a man and the process of falling in love with you will begin.
If you have been upset since your breakup there might be a chance that your ex has seen you cry. She might know that you're depressed about the breakup. In the future, you're not going to let your ex know anything about your life other than the fact that you are happy, loving life and ready to move on without her, if necessary. Without a word, you are rebuilding your life. You are happy and you have things that you want to do with your life as well as the strength to achieve these goals. Instead of holding onto that depressed personality and being sad about your breakup, you are happy with life and you're living life to the best of your ability.
The temptation might be there still to want your ex to think that you're sad about your breakup. You might think that she will expect you to be sitting at home alone in the dark missing her and wanting her to come back to you. Look, you will gain nothing by portraying this side of you to your girlfriend. She will only lose respect for you and view you as sad and pathetic. Pain does not equal love. If she wonders if you miss her then she should ask you. This is your life we're talking about and every day that you spend being upset and lonely is a wasted day. Don't ever let her see you cry or upset about the breakup and never tell her that you love her. You can tell her that you love her about a minute or two after she confesses that she still loves you. Make her sweat a little bit.
This is your time to really plan out your life and begin to dream. You can still secretly include her in your dreams or even make plans based upon what the two of you used to dream but, for now, this is your life we're talking about. Write down some of the goals that you have for yourself. If you could live life on your terms, what would it look like. Don't hold anything back. Shoot for the stars. Write down exactly what you would do, who you would be doing it with and include every feeling, emotion and nuance that you can think of. Take this breakup as being a wake-up call. Losing your girlfriend or wife can give you the motivation to create a life that anyone in their right mind would be happy to be a part of and it's your life.
With a strong, positive attitude you can change your life and change how your ex thinks and feels about you. Your fears are unfounded and you will find later on down the road that all the things that you are worrying about are wrong. You might think that your ex will be upset if you don't appear to miss her when in actuality she will feel sad herself. You worry about moving on with your life because you fear that your ex will think that this means that you don't love her. The truth is that she will feel left out and begin to feel attracted to you because of your new attitude. Take the bull by the horns and stand up for yourself. Be strong and you will find that your ex and every other woman on the face of the planet will find you more attractive. Soon your ex will be knocking on your door or calling you on the phone to find out how you are and what you've been up to. This is the first sign that she wants to get back together. Will you be prepared to talk to her when that moment comes?
Trying everything under the sun to make your ex change her mind and come back to you is typical. You try talking, being nice, being mean, buying gifts, writing poetry, sending cards and anything else that you can think of after a breakup to get the woman you love to come back to you. What you probably didn't realize is that none of this stuff works unless she has a desire to be with you. Begging, pleading and talking only make you look weak and needy. If you are kicking yourself now, don't worry. Give her some time and change your attitude and you can still get her back. Of course, it's going to require that you refrain from continuing with this behavior. This means no more calling her, apologizing to her or going out of your way to talk to her until the time is right. You will know that the time is right to call her and try to open the lines of communication when you don't think about her or feel that overwhelming desire to hear her voice. Of course, it's always better if she contacts you first.
Your primary focus now is to change how your ex-girlfriend or potential future ex-wife thinks about you. This is going to require you to change your general attitude towards her and women overall. What will this attitude be like? Your attitude should be one where you are unwilling to tolerate being talked down to or treated in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your ex does make you feel uncomfortable or upset, you need to be willing ahead of time to walk away both from the relationship as well as the conversation. Always keep this in mind and remind yourself of this new attitude and it will be felt by your ex-girlfriend if not seen by her the next time she starts treating you poorly.
Along with this new attitude you need to put any thought out of your mind that concerns how she will react to your new attitude. It's going to be a little shocking for her, that's for sure. If she is accustomed to yelling at you or calling you names, she is accustomed to holding all the power in the relationship. If, in the past, you stood there and took this abuse or if you tried to argue with her or explain yourself, those days are through. From now on, you will remind her that she is not your partner, girlfriend or wife. She relinquished that title and the right to state her opinion about anything when she left you. You will turn and literally walk away from the conversation and take that power with you. She will do one of two things. She will either come after you immediately and apologize or she will think about what just happened for a while. She will then have gained some respect for you as a man and the process of falling in love with you will begin.
If you have been upset since your breakup there might be a chance that your ex has seen you cry. She might know that you're depressed about the breakup. In the future, you're not going to let your ex know anything about your life other than the fact that you are happy, loving life and ready to move on without her, if necessary. Without a word, you are rebuilding your life. You are happy and you have things that you want to do with your life as well as the strength to achieve these goals. Instead of holding onto that depressed personality and being sad about your breakup, you are happy with life and you're living life to the best of your ability.
The temptation might be there still to want your ex to think that you're sad about your breakup. You might think that she will expect you to be sitting at home alone in the dark missing her and wanting her to come back to you. Look, you will gain nothing by portraying this side of you to your girlfriend. She will only lose respect for you and view you as sad and pathetic. Pain does not equal love. If she wonders if you miss her then she should ask you. This is your life we're talking about and every day that you spend being upset and lonely is a wasted day. Don't ever let her see you cry or upset about the breakup and never tell her that you love her. You can tell her that you love her about a minute or two after she confesses that she still loves you. Make her sweat a little bit.
This is your time to really plan out your life and begin to dream. You can still secretly include her in your dreams or even make plans based upon what the two of you used to dream but, for now, this is your life we're talking about. Write down some of the goals that you have for yourself. If you could live life on your terms, what would it look like. Don't hold anything back. Shoot for the stars. Write down exactly what you would do, who you would be doing it with and include every feeling, emotion and nuance that you can think of. Take this breakup as being a wake-up call. Losing your girlfriend or wife can give you the motivation to create a life that anyone in their right mind would be happy to be a part of and it's your life.
With a strong, positive attitude you can change your life and change how your ex thinks and feels about you. Your fears are unfounded and you will find later on down the road that all the things that you are worrying about are wrong. You might think that your ex will be upset if you don't appear to miss her when in actuality she will feel sad herself. You worry about moving on with your life because you fear that your ex will think that this means that you don't love her. The truth is that she will feel left out and begin to feel attracted to you because of your new attitude. Take the bull by the horns and stand up for yourself. Be strong and you will find that your ex and every other woman on the face of the planet will find you more attractive. Soon your ex will be knocking on your door or calling you on the phone to find out how you are and what you've been up to. This is the first sign that she wants to get back together. Will you be prepared to talk to her when that moment comes?
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