So I'm sure you've been in a bar or club, and seen a really hot girl that you wanted to approach.
What you wanted to do was to just walk up smoothly, say something really cool that she was impressed by, and have her being captivated by you for the rest of the night.
Sadly though, all you do was look over longingly, and wish you had the confidence to go up to her.
Instead you stayed where you were. And you thought about what you should say, if you ever were to go and meet her.
How would she react if I were to say this?
How will she respond? What do I then say?
And so on.
If you were to then approach her at this point, chances are it will come off as contrived and awkward. Why?
This is because what you say will come off as though you are delivering a script, because you have rehearsed it in your head so much. It won't seem natural.
When this happens, the woman often gets a feeling that something is off. They can't quite tell why, but it's just a feeling of 'there's something not quite right here'.
It's exactly the same as those guys that act all loud, like they are the most confident dude on the planet, yet their body language shows a man who is shy and awkward.
This kind of misaligned behaviour is what causes girls to label certain guys as creepy. It's where what the guy says is not in alignment with his body language.
Best to be totally open about where you're at.
If you're not feeling totally confident - it's ok to say that! A lot of women find it attractive when a man can be vulnerable, but own his own vulnerability.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
Now you are showing her real masculine strength. You have faults, but as a man, you own your own weaknesses. You are not asking for her approval - you are just saying 'this is me, fully as I am. Take me or leave me.'
I promise you that women are hardly ever approached in this way. It's always loud and overconfident (comes across as fake) or quiet and underconfident (comes across as shy, boring and weak).
So try it out!
What you wanted to do was to just walk up smoothly, say something really cool that she was impressed by, and have her being captivated by you for the rest of the night.
Sadly though, all you do was look over longingly, and wish you had the confidence to go up to her.
Instead you stayed where you were. And you thought about what you should say, if you ever were to go and meet her.
How would she react if I were to say this?
How will she respond? What do I then say?
And so on.
If you were to then approach her at this point, chances are it will come off as contrived and awkward. Why?
This is because what you say will come off as though you are delivering a script, because you have rehearsed it in your head so much. It won't seem natural.
When this happens, the woman often gets a feeling that something is off. They can't quite tell why, but it's just a feeling of 'there's something not quite right here'.
It's exactly the same as those guys that act all loud, like they are the most confident dude on the planet, yet their body language shows a man who is shy and awkward.
This kind of misaligned behaviour is what causes girls to label certain guys as creepy. It's where what the guy says is not in alignment with his body language.
Best to be totally open about where you're at.
If you're not feeling totally confident - it's ok to say that! A lot of women find it attractive when a man can be vulnerable, but own his own vulnerability.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
Now you are showing her real masculine strength. You have faults, but as a man, you own your own weaknesses. You are not asking for her approval - you are just saying 'this is me, fully as I am. Take me or leave me.'
I promise you that women are hardly ever approached in this way. It's always loud and overconfident (comes across as fake) or quiet and underconfident (comes across as shy, boring and weak).
So try it out!
About the Author:
Chadd Pfannenstein is a grizzled veteran of the pickup community who has spent the last years rigorously testing every attraction system out there to discover what works and what doesn't. He is now here to show you how to get laid simply by learning how to approach women in bars and clubs.
